


Thinking

by Oclarina



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mild Language, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 23:09:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oclarina/pseuds/Oclarina
Summary: Ouma always, very easily, managed to find an abundance of time to think, in between actually doing stuff.He just had some trouble getting his thoughts to go in the direction he wanted them to.





	Thinking

_Shuichi._

Ouma rolled the name around in his mouth like a piece of gum. Occasionally he'd chew on the thought of calling that name out, but ultimately the idea popped before it came to fruition. For some reason it just seemed. So intimate. Off limits. Which was strange. He had no problem calling anyone else by whatever name came to mind, oftentimes even ridiculous or rude nicknames. And if he could call Iruma a cum-dumpster why couldn't he get himself to call him Shuichi.

Something about it just didn't feel right. Like, with all of his tricks that he pulled he had barred himself from being able to be friends with the one person he cared about most. It really wasn't fair. Not at all. It was especially unfair how most of these battles he had were fought in his own mind. Saihara seemed to be the only worthy adversary for any mind games, and he could only get him to truly participate in them if a corpse was involved. Why on earth did it all have to be so difficult.

Saihara, too, as a name, felt too formal, and stiff. Like it would make it even harder for him to get what he wanted. It was hard enough already, he didn’t want to ruin it by putting some invisible, uncomfortable barrier between them.

But, he guessed, that was why he liked Saihara so much. He wasn’t an easy lock to pick. Ouma would have to put all of his thought towards figuring this puzzle out if he even wanted a chance to get close to Saihara.

The biggest trouble by far, though, was trying to put a name on what he was feeling. Sure, he had the vocabulary, and the emotional capacity, but admitting it felt like he had lost something. And that Saihara had won. And he didn’t want to allow that. It was painful, really.

If only, Ouma wished, if only there were a world without this killing game, without these stupid talents, that they could have met in. Would they have even met in that world? There would have been nothing to bring them together in the first place, like the Ultimate Hunt had, but wishing for that world was pointless. It wasn’t a possibility. He may as well wish to wake up as a horse one morning, or even more fantastical, a unicorn.

The world was destroyed outside of the dome, and inside, Ouma felt his world crumbling still.

He flopped back on his bed after his long period of thinking while pacing in his room. Solving the mysteries of the academy was hard enough without all this extra stuff in his head. He swung his legs off the side of the bed, kicking the wax model of Amami and causing it to spin like the trick Shinguuji had pulled off a few days ago. Was it days? Time flowed so weirdly around here, that he wasn’t sure. The sky didn’t look like the real sky. He wasn’t an expert on that, though, and he wasn’t able to find any reference materials without getting bored out of his mind first. Sky charts weren’t puzzling, they were just frustratingly confusing.

“Amami-chan, why won’t you tell me all the answers?” He whined, making the effigy spin more. Of course, it was just wax, so it couldn’t respond, but he enjoyed the company of having someone to talk to. No one else seemed to want him around, but, he guessed, that was his own fault. Of course no one would want a liar like him for company. All he ever did was mess things up for other people, of course.

Eventually, all his plans would come together, and he’d be able to make people stop dying, but for now he had to pretend like he enjoyed it. Look Saihara in the face and say he hated him, that’d stop this mess. He knew already Saihara hated him back. It’d be easier that way. Simpler, and not as distracting. If he could just lie his emotions away like he claimed to already have done.

But he had an idea, one that would make them hate him more, but would cement his role. He had the supplies from Iruma, may she rest in peace, or whatever. He could control the exisals, cement his role as the mastermind, that way everyone had a concrete common goal to work against. He had everything planned out, and ready to go, at the press of a button.

He just had to convince himself he wanted to.


End file.
